Sheets

Twisty toss VS. Nicely nestled

I like to have my sheets neatly tucked. I love the feeling that I am tucked in a pocket of warm fuzziness where I can safely slumber without having the chill of a foot protruding from the side or bottom of an un-tucked sheet. It also makes it a lot easier to make the bed when you get out. Matt would much rather play blanket twister where all the layers dance all over the bed throughout the night, subjected to your twists and turns and end up wherever. He believes in freeing the legs and toes, letting them protrude out into the cool night air when needed. We’ve struggled to keep half the bed a neatly tucked casserole and the other half a free-love fiesta.

Matt says I’m a sheet stealer. I don’t believe it’s true. I think he has the illusion that his sheets are being stolen but there are plenty to go around. Anyone would get confused when sheets and blankets are swimming all over. Lately Matthew claims our mattress has turned into a “taco” where a crevice left by his body impression is “swallowing him whole” in the night.

So, he sleeps snuggled up next to me on my side of the bed or way over on his side, almost falling off onto the floor to avoid the “taco”. When he chooses the farthest end, I think he gets the notion he has no sheets to sleep with, thus creating a small tug-of-war mid-slumber.

One particular morning, I awoke to a massive un-tucked mess. Still trying to shake the sleepiness, I laid there in the chaos relaxing for a few minutes more. I could feel what seemed to be the entire flat sheet next to my head in a ball. What the heck? How did this happen? This night must have been the ultimate toss and turn. I heard Matt grunt a little. Then he reached over and tugged on the ball of sheets as if I was hogging them all to myself. I pushed the bundle of sheet next to his head.

There, is that what you want? The ball of sheet? Remnants of an un-tucked tango? Have ‘em. I thought to myself.

It seemed to appease him so I got up and started to get ready for the day. About ten minutes later while doing my hair in the bathroom I heard him call out, “What the heck?! How the… Did you see this sheet’s in one big ball by my head?”

“Yeah, you wanted it during the night so I gave it to you.”

Later that day at work, he texted me to say, “I love you because you hand me the ball of sheets when I want them, no questions asked.”